I recently attended the Children’s Pastors’ Conference and one of the breakouts I intentionally attended was one entitled “Understanding the Role of Grandparents”. I intentionally attended this breakout because many in small churches often ask the question, “we have an older congregation, how can I get the older members involved in children’s ministry?” I went seeking additional insight and learned some very interesting information.
In the last few decades, the view of senior citizens has changed. Today, many senior citizens feel disconnected and that they offer little value. There is also the cultural expectation that now that your children are grown, you’ve completed your career, that it is time to enjoy life. An entitlement mentality that you’ve worked hard for others all your life and now it is time to enjoy yourself. The cultural message is one of indulgence and independence. This mindset needs to change.
There is a Biblical mandate to teach the next generation, and they know that. The question is how?
Grandparents and older adults may feel powerless. There was a time when we looked to our older citizens for wisdom. They were a valuable asset to help teach the younger generation because of their life experiences. In today’s culture, these people that we used to look to for wisdom and knowledge have been replaced by Google, Alexa, and Siri. Older citizens may have trouble with the latest technology and we instruct our youngest to teach them. Our elders are made to feel as if they possess little or no knowledge because they struggle with technology. They may feel as if they cannot connect with the children today.
Changing this mindset will not happen overnight. It will take time. Here are some steps that you can begin to take to help engage your older members in children’s ministry.
Have them share their story.
Some people do not like using the word story to share what God has done. Some people feel that the word stories indicates a false account, a lie. “Are you telling ‘stories’ again?” I chose to use the word story because they will be sharing the story of their life and how God has been an intricate part.
Senior citizens have many things that they have seen God do in their lives. As you are teaching various topics from the Bible, have them come in and share how God worked in their lives in a similar way. This will begin to build relationships across the generations.
Do not set them up to fail
As stated earlier, older members who have not grown up with technology may struggle with it. Even younger members may struggle! Do not require people to use technology. It is a tool, not a requirement.
I have some older teachers who prefer not to use the computer and media set up and so I make sure that I have the printouts of the media images that would be used for them to teach in a format comfortable to them. We need to utilize people so that they can succeed with their skills, not with our skills. Find out what resources people desire to teach, and provide it for them.
Naysayers will say, “but what about the children”? Children are learning. They will learn from many different teaching styles and sometimes the break from technology can be very good and beneficial. When I teach I use various methods. Yes I utilize technology, but that is one of many tools that I use to reach the children. If you lock me in to a certain way to teach, then I will fail. Don’t set up others to fail by forcing them to fit snugly into your teaching mold.
Find the Right Role
Chances are that several of your older members will not lead, or participate in, an active game or activity. They may not physically be able to do well. Looking back to the previous point, do not force them to do so, do not set them up to fail.
There are many roles that can be held. These include but are not limited to administrative, greeting, host/hostess, assisting, giving “high-fives”, etc. They may not be comfortable interacting with the children but may be willing to help out making copies, prepping crafts, etc. Find the best fit for people willing to serve.
It can be challenging
There is no guarantee that even if you can engage all of your older members to serve that your church will now flourish with young families. It can be awkward for a young family to begin to attend if their children are the only ones. You need to have a welcoming environment and prepared for that young family to arrive. Yes, that means being prepared to reach children even if you currently have none attending.
It can take time to re-establish a sense of value to someone who has felt unneeded and without a role for a long time. We need to give them hope.
Make it a church-wide effort to share how valuable our older members, and all members, are to disciple the younger generation. They have value. They have wisdom. Encourage them to share that with younger generations and not to take this wisdom to the grave with them. Google, Siri, and Alexa can only share what people have input into them. Encourage the children to say “Grandpa, tell me a joke”, to ask the older members to share their knowledge and wisdom. May we not replace the wisdom of our grandparents and older members with an emotionless piece of technology. Google, Siri, and Alexa cannot replace the human emotion and relationships that grandparents and our older members can provide.
